I'm sorry.....

Earlier in my blog I touched upon my childhood. It was pointed out to me by my dear cousin that I was in the wrong. I wish to fix. My mom was very young when she had me and was unable to care for me. My grandmother stepped up and went beyond the call of duty. She kept me and I called her mom. She was a wonderful person. And thank God that she was there for me. I don't mean for her to come off as not being a good caretaker because she was. She was awesome. She took what she had and did the best she could. I learned what being a strong independent woman was by watching her. I know it was hard to take care of me. I was never blind. I used to hear her on the phone talking to my Aunts. Worrying and sometimes even crying. There came a point when her health began to go down hill. She wasn't able to cook 3 meals a day like she had her whole life. She did good. I don't want anyone to believe she wasn't a good mom. She was. But she did have a sweet tooth. A big one. Using the word "junk food addict" was wrong. I admit it. I apologize. But the fact remains that I was a fat kid. I didn't understand what limitations were. When to say no to a whole bags of chips or to several little Debbie cakes in a row. In a way maybe that was her way of spoiling me. I loved her so much. And I am so sorry if my words were taken the wrong way. I just wanted to state the facts and I didn't remember to add the emotions. And when I say I grew up poor I didn't mean just the first 11 years of my life but my entire childhood into my adulthood. I AM NOT blaming my grandmother for my obesity. But it was a contributing factor. Am I making any sense or just screwing things up even more. I don't know anymore. I didn't mean to hurt anyones feeling. I'm not that kind of person. It just broke my heart when someone I idolized and loved so much could think that. I just wanted to be honest and look on my life without the rose colored glasses. I didn't mean to hurt anyone.