Snacks....the enemy!

Hello all! It's been a while but I'm here now. Things are great. Well...for the most part. Still eating lots of good for me food. NO JUNK FOOD!!!! But. I keep catching myself falling back into the snack trap. I'm eating snacks that are not so bad for you. Foods such as 1% cottage cheese, Multi-grain wheat thins with a laughing cow cheese, grilled chicken. The problem is I know I'm eating too much. It's habit. It's like if it's in the house I want it. I can't help myself. I know I'm not hungry it's just habit. A bad habit. Part of me is so looking forward to that first fill and part of me is having nightmares about it. Having the lap band put in was only the first step. After the fill It will become an actual tool. An active part of my life. Things are going to change. But I know I can do this. I already trying so hard.
The bathroom scales still disgust me. Not even checking them anymore. The numbers just don't change. They just fluctuate back and forth over 3 lbs. I hate those scales. But I know that something is going on. I feel terrific. So much energy. And I'm fitting into clothes that I have NEVER been able to wear. I bought size x-large!!! X-LARGE!!!!! And this morning I slid into a pair of 16's. I haven't been a 16 since I was 13 years old. Had to order new boots because my plus size boots are way too big. They wouldn't stay up on my calves any more.
Even though I know I'm changing when I look in the mirror it's hard for me to see them. I still pick up the 2x and 3x shirts at the store. I have to remind myself that they don't fit anymore. It's a tough road but so worth it. Still exercising but I know I have to go buy a really good pair of walking shoes. Lots of cushion and arch support. Thought about diabetic shoes. I don't care what they look like as long as they help me reach my goals. Can't wait till the weather cools off a little more. Walking in this heat is torture.....
Going to get some new pictures posted soon. Can't wait!!!

Just checkin' in!

Things are still going great. NO MORE PAIN!!! Not even sore anymore. Thank goodness. I feel great. Lots of exercise!! Walking at least 30 minutes a day. This morning Hannah and I went to the walking track and walked 45 minutes. It was soooooo hot, but we made it. Made sure we drank lots of liquid. Also doing leg lifts, butt lifts, crunches, crossovers crunches and other things like that. I try to do at least 15 minutes a day of that. Losing so much weight in my legs. Haven't weighed myself in a while. Not going to. It's too depressing.
My husband was home this week-end and I fixed grilled tilapia. Rob tried a bite and inhaled his plate. He even went back for seconds. I just laughed and said "thought you didn't eat fish?" I rather him fill up on fish and steamed veggies then country fried steak or double bacon cheeseburgers. So far he isn't fussing about the new menu. Hannah loves all the healthy new food we're eating. She has now discovered baby corn and thinks it's so cool.
Oh I have to tell you about my new favorite breakfast. I found these AMAZING chicken and apple smoked sausage at Sam's. There heaven on a plate. 1 sausage has 190 calories and 23 grams of protein. I have one of those and some egg whites scrambled eggs. It really feels me up and keeps me going till lunch. I know things will change when I get my first feel. But for right now I'm just enjoying it.

Muscles!

Ok. Having done lots of research I think I understand what is going on. I am building muscles and it is apparently normal for the scales to move up when you first start exercising. This must be true because this morning I slipped into a pair of jeans that I have NEVER been able to wear. So I suppose for right now I need to just ignore the scale and concentrate on my diet and exercise. This morning I did 15 minutes of exercise. Things like leg lifts, butt lifts and crunches and then walked 30 minutes. My calorie tracker said I burned around 300 calories. Right now I am trying to keep my diet around 1200 calories. I hope I'm doing this right. It's all new to me. This morning I had a protein shake for breakfast and just finished a can 0f tuna packed in water with a tsp. of low fat mayonnaise and lots of lemon. I have some boneless skinless chicken breasts marinading in fat free italion dressing. Going to grill them tonight. Thinking about mashed potatoes and steamed mixed vegetables for sides. The mashed potatoes are for my husband. He will be home tonight. YAY!!!!
I have to tell you that getting into those jeans really boosted my moral. I was getting so depressed. Afraid that I had done the wrong thing and that all that pain had been for nothing. But I still want to see the numbers on the scale start dropping. My first goal is to hit 249. Then 225. I can't wait!!!!!!!

Feel like crying....

I just don't understand. I am trying so hard. So hard. I have COMPLETELY changed the way I eat. Eating what I thought was a healthy low calorie diet. Lots of grilled fish, veggies, egg whites, grilled chicken...etc. Drinking my liquids everyday. Getting my proteins. I was so proud. I'm getting up and moving EVERY day for at least 30 minutes. I thought that was a pretty good start. The problem is I'm not losing weight. The scale is moving back up. What do I do? I'm trying so hard to do it right. I'm getting so frustrated and scared. I don't know what to do.....

Logan's Steakhouse.

Decided to go to Logan's for my daughters birthday. Was a little worried. I just decided if nothing else I would just sip my tea and have fun. When we got there I told the manager (a great guy) that I had just had my surgery. He was very excited and told me congratulations. I asked him about ordering off the kids menu and he said that was no problem. So I ordered the grilled chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. So good!!!!! We always go to the Logan's in Irondale. As I said before the manager, his name is Daniel, is a really awesome guy! Hannah was wearing her Birthday Girl t-shirt and he sent a little mini-bucket desert over free to celebrate! He told me the secret to their chicken is they marinade in the Italian dressing for 3 days before they cook it. So much flavor!!! Had a lot of fun and didn't over eat. Yay me!!!

FOOD!!!!!

Well I am officially on mushy food. The first day I ate it hurt. No not really hurt. Just very uncomfortable!!! I think I just ate to fast. Trust me when I say lesson learned. Been eating things like canned chicken with just a tiny amount of low fat mayonnaise. Lots of tuna. Cottage cheese. Was starving today at Wal-mart and thought about the tuna salad at Subway. I told them I had just had the lap-band and wondering if I could just get some of the tuna. No salad or sandwich. They gave me 2 scoops with s sprinkle of cheese on top for $1.38 including tax. Just the right amount of food. So glad I asked. Some people have said they don't like to mention their surgery. I don't mind. I'm happy and excited about my new life. And if someone overhears and wants to ask questions.....I will be more then happy to answer. That's already happened a couple of times. It's like this blog. I want to help. I want to share. Ok....I just like to talk!!!!!!
My husband came in this morning and we went to the grocery store. Bought LOTS and LOTS of yummy stuff. Boneless chicken breasts, tuna, cottage cheese, tilapia fillets. Oh and some of that Laughing Cow low calorie cheese wedges.
Tonight I cooked a spaghetti squash for the first time. It was a huge hit. My husband loved it. His favorite part was the cranberries. I picked out some of the squash and few bites of the chicken. It really was VERY good!!!!!!!!
Spaghetti Squash Casserole
1 large spaghetti squash
1 T. regular olive oil
1 T. butter
1 medium yellow onion
1 clove garlic
1 c. fresh mushrooms
1 c. cooked broccoli
1 c. cooked chicken
3/4 c. cranberries
1/2 c. chicken broth
Asiago cheese, shredded

Preheat oven to 400 F. Line baking sheet with foil and a quick spray of oil. Cut spaghetti squash in half lengthwise and lay cut-side down on baking sheet. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool enough to easily handle.
In a large oven proof skillet over medium-high heat, add butter and oil and sauté garlic and onions 4 to 5 minutes until onions are translucent. Add broccoli, mushrooms and chicken, and heat until warmed. Add cranberries and broth to skillet and cover. Lower heat and simmer about 4-5 minutes, until most of the liquid is gone.
Scoop out the spaghetti squash innards with a spoon, separating strands. Add squash strands to skillet and toss everything together. Sprinkle with Asiago cheese, and place under a preheated broiler till cheese is melted and toasty.

Back to the Hospital....

Last night around dinner time I noticed that my port site was started to really hurt again. One touch and I knew what the problem was. There was a big rock hard knot under the skin. The fluid had built back up. Didn't sleep much last night because of the pain and was so happy to see the light of day. Went to the hospital with a knot the size of a baseball under my skin and they drained another 10ccs of fluid. INSTANT RELIEF!!! It's still sore from where she was poking around with the needle and pressing on it but I can handle that. The nurse said it might happen again and if it does just come see her again. Why me? Guess I'm just special....Lucky me!
Went to lunch my my mom and Hannah afterwards. Went to Barnhill's Buffet. I had a sweet tea. Before you yell at me. It's only the 2nd sweet tea I've had since the surgery and I needed a little sugar to keep my glucose levels up. I also snuck and got about a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and when the waitress wasn't looking I had my lunch. I just didn't see paying $8 for that tiny amount of food. Was it so terribly wrong of me? To be honest I do feel a little guilty.
Hopefully tomorrow will be like yesterday and I will feel like walking again. Right now all I want to do is rest.